Just like we have a need to have sex, eat or drink, we also have a need for love. There is no human being on this planet that doesn’t feel good when he is loved. Being loved by others keeps your dopamine and serotonin level high, which in return makes you happy, feel important and feel secure.
But most men fall for tricks and they think they can find unconditional love in a woman.
You see, most of your problems come from the fact that you are expecting unconditional love from your girlfriend.
Stop doing that.
Whether there is unconditional love or not, you should accept the fact that your girlfriend will always love herself more than you, stop hoping for unconditional love.
Destroy your Disney fantasy about love, don’t expect anything.
Why is this so important?
This is very important because if a girl didn’t get enough love from her family while growing up, she won’t have the capability to love you and you can’t fix it. Yes, she can fall in love, she can go crazy over you, but “accepting who you really are” or unconditionally loving you? Well, sorry to break it to you, it won’t happen.
This is why I wanted to name this article “How to know if your girlfriend is truly into you?” But it wouldn’t get this much attention. Men crave love, they think they will be loved just like their mothers love them. This is straight up wrong. Never expect a girlfriend to love you unconditionally because you most likely aren’t going to get that from her.
So, now that we know all this, how do you know if your girlfriend is really into you and “loves you.”
1. She puts you first.
If a girl is putting her career before you, that is a bad sign. Let’s say you want a family, big family, and you have money to pay for whatever you need to accomplish that, but she wants to be “independent” financially and wants to finish her college and get a good job… she doesn’t care about family because “it can wait” even if that means that she will get too old to get pregnant the natural way.
This is usually a bad sign, and this is just an example.
If a girlfriend puts her friends, career, work, or Instagram likes before you, this is a terrible sign. If she puts her family or herself before you, that is usually okay, since 99% of women would do this, but things like her girlfriends, career, or social media validation won’t even cross her mind if she really loves you.
2. You give her love too.
What is the best way to know if a girl is chasing you for validation or if she is really into you?
Obviously, it would be to give her what she wants, validation, that way you will know. If she gets cold, that means she wanted your validation so her ego can be satisfied, and you should let go.
If she, however, stays with you and gets into you, even more, that probably means that to her you are a man of value.
Now, if you are not giving your woman enough love, she won’t love you back, at least if she is normal. In order to be loved, you have to love, it’s just how it goes. If you are treating her like dirt and she is chasing you and all over you, that means her relationship with her father is not what it is supposed to be and she is a bad wife material. In other words, she loves to be treated like dirt because she thinks she deserves it.
I’m not saying you should be needy and without boundaries, giving love is not weakness, it’s brave to give someone love and not expect anything in return, and if you are a family man and want to have a big great family, it’s the only way.
A woman needs a man that will let her know where her place is, and by western standards being a man is equal to being a misogynist pig.
So, when I say give her love, give her validation, I don’t mean it the same way an American woman will mean it. American women will give you bad advice, they actually mean, “be a pussy, give her everything, marry her and let her divorce you and take half of your shit.” When I say to give your girlfriend love and validation, I mean just that, show her some affection and watch her reaction.
One rule with this, you should give her validation and love after she gave you just that, not before.
3. She follows you and your plans.
What is her reaction when you tell her your plans? Let’s say you want a big family, what is her reaction when you propose it? She says she is too young? She says she hasn’t finished college yet?
What about if you want to move to a small town, would she follow you there? Or will she choose the privileges of a big city over you?
Women hypergamy is a powerful force, if a woman is choosing you over her hypergamous nature, she is definitely a keeper.
4. She chooses you over her plans.
Now, the situation may be reversed. Maybe she wants to get married and have children because her time is ticking and you are just not for that.
With this situation, women are cruel and here you really see how much she loves you.
The main question is, does she wants your or her plans? Women will usually start testing you, she will comment on how immature you are or how childish you are. These are all signs that she wants something serious, aka she wants to settle down. Most women want this in their early 30s when they’ve found a good guy to provide for them, after tons of guys have fucked them for fun only.
But now, she wants to settle and she will give you an ultimatum, either you marry her or she walks. This is very, very common in relationships and if your girlfriend gives you an ultimatum, that means she doesn’t love you, she loves the idea of marriage more than you, and if you don’t want to settle, she will find someone who will.
The same goes when she wants a relationship. “Im done with fooling around, I want something serious”. How many times did you hear this? She wants to have a boyfriend or husband.. And if you don’t want that, then she will move to the next guy.
On the other hand, if she puts your will above her plans, that usually means she is with you because of you, not because you are a part of her plan. Watch carefully when you propose something that’s not fitting into her plan, that will tell you a lot.
5. Is she into you?
Now, this one is obvious but I have to mention it anyway. Is she sending you messages every day, is she cuddling and all over you after sex? Does she love to be in bed with you or is it just something she has to do because of you?
Is she creating drama a lot, fighting and arguing with you for no reason? If the answer is yes, maybe you should ask yourself if she is cheating on you. All of this questions will give you an answer, you just have to ask yourself this and be brave enough to accept the answer.
Does she want to introduce you to her friends and family, how much time is she spending with you, does she miss you when you are far away? All of these matters and will show you how serious she is.
6. She cares about your private life.
If a girl cares about your life, family, and financial situation, that probably means she loves you. Does she care about the things you care about?
Is she interested in your hobbies or are they boring to her? This is really important because it is known that a girlfriend adopts hobbies of her boyfriend most of the time.
When you are about to get fired, does she get scared? What about your health or the health of your family? Those are very important stuff for you, and it should also be to her.
Bottom line is that she should be happy when you are happy and sad when you are sad, she should be passionate about what you are passionate about, etc.
There are a lot of questions to ask yourself if you want to know if your girlfriend loves you.
The point is that if you doubt that she loves you and you need to ask yourself questions in order to find out, that usually means that she is not into you. Because if she loves you, you wouldn’t need to do read this. I said usually, so there is still a possibility that she does love you but have a weird way to show you, or she is maybe just scared.
Important note to take is to hold your frame and watch out not to become needy here or to think too much. These things are easy to understand, especially if you detach yourself from the outcome.
Most guys don’t have guts to try to test their girlfriends or even think about that because they already know the answer and they are just ignoring the fact that she is with them out of habit, or money, or something else.
Don’t be that guy, if a girl doesn’t love you, it’s time to move to the next one. If she is giving you ultimatums, time to move to the next one. If she is creating a lot of drama, again, it’s time to move to the next one.
I hope these tips will be helpful to you to determine if your girlfriend still loves you.