How to Get Laid on a First Date

Escalation slowly


Everyone knows the first date is usually a crucial point in any relationship. If the date goes bad, you won’t get a second chance. If the date goes very well, most likely she is going to chase you. But, what is the main goal for men on a first date? Getting laid, obviously.

Not only because the sex is good and enjoyable but because if you get laid on a first date and you are already in a better position. She is now the one who should initiate contact to see you again, you are now in control of your relationship. Most women will call you if you get her in bed on a first date. Exceptions are only if she was drunk and then she is feeling ashamed of what she did and wants to forget all that happened.

Most women had sex on a first date at least once in their life, so if you are not scoring on a first date, it’s not because “they don’t do things like that anymore” but because she doesn’t want to do it with you.

Not that in this guide I will give you my best tips on how to get laid on a first date, but there is another guide, the main one, on how to get laid.

1. Assume Attraction 

Listen, change your mindset from “I am going on a first date” to “I am going to pick her up to get laid.” Shifting this mindset helps you with several things. First of all, you will have intent, you are going to get laid and that’s the direction this date should be going to.

It also helps you talk about sex freely. Fast escalation is attractive. And the last benefit of this mindset shift is that if you are confident that you are going to get laid, she will feel that confidence in you and be much more open to it than if you try somehow to “trick her” into bed.

Always assume that you’re going to bang – that is the best piece of advice I can give you.

2. Wear Comfortable Clothes


It’s crucial for you to be relaxed. Wear clothes that make you feel good and relaxed, it’s much more important than having expensive clothes. Wear clothes you already got laid in (seriously, it works) and avoid suits or ties or any of that BS. Try to be as relaxed as possible and wear things that make you feel good.

Pro tip: Women don’t pay attention if it’s Gucci or Armani, but they pay attention to color coordination. Don’t wear blue jeans and a blue shirt.

Aftershave or perfume – don’t overdo it.

3. One Drink is Okay
Two glasses, one empty and other full of champagne

I tend to avoid drinking before dates, simply because I avoid drinking in general. But, she probably took one drink herself. It is a good idea to be on the same level, so one drink is okay. Don’t take two, if you get there drunk all connection will be lost.

Avoid drugs, cocaine will make you talk stupid things and marijuana will make you look stupid and poor. Other drugs can only fuck you up. Stay away from drugs before your first date.

If you are both into drugs then maybe you can do it together on a first date, otherwise don’t even mention it.

4. Pay the First Round

Paying for a drink on a first date is different than paying for drinks in a club. In a club, a girl can drink whatever you paid for and go fuck another guy in a bathroom. On a date it’s different, it’s only you two.

There are girls that won’t come near you if they think you are cheap and don’t want to pay for drinks. There are zero girls that won’t fuck you on a first date simply because you insisted on paying for the drinks.

5. Choose a Venue Carefully

Crowded cafee in Beirut

Try to find a good bar with a relaxed atmosphere and not too loud music that is near your place.

And should I tell you that you should first try to invite her to your place? “Hey, I’m cooking dinner tonight and will watch this movie I have been waiting to see, you are invited to join.” This works well with Tinder/Badoo girls.

She should know you want to score with her, so if she gets pissed off you invited her “that early” just act like nothing happened.

6. The Game Before the Date

You need to build up momentum beforehand. And the best way to do this is to approach girls before you meet up with your date. Go there 20 minutes early and start approaching women you see. Your goal is not to get their number but to get momentum and use them to shut down your ego, so your date can go well.

If you can get into a “state” before a date starts, you will increase your chances of getting laid tremendously. All you need to do is approach without any pressure. Don’t ask for their number, just talk.

Try to get rejected. That will free you from the fear that you will get a “no” on a date. Getting rejections early on in the night is very important for you to get into a state.

So, go there early and start approaching women on the street. That way you will “warm up” for your date.

7. Hold your Frame from the Beginning
nice guys finish last but alphas like this finish first

First of all, realize that she is the one that’s going to be nervous. She will spend hours in front of the mirror looking if something is missing. Your job is to stay relaxed and not think too much about “what should you do.” Be relaxed, but be brave because fast escalation is indeed attractive. You should come strong, smile, kiss on a cheek with double hand hold if possible. Ask her how she is, etc.

Here is a little tip, don’t instantly start walking to the bar as soon as she arrives have a little chat from the script of social norms and then proceed. Also, don’t start walking towards her when you see her, let her walk to you.

Now, when you get to the bar, have your first awkward conversation. It’s almost always going to be awkward so accept that as it is. Then let her know what you are going to drink and ask her what she wants to drink. If she is thinking, just propose something for her. If you suggest mojito, most of the times she will be okay with it.

8. Stop Giving a Fuck

Listen, the level of IDGAF attitude is going to be in correlation with your abundance mentality. If you know that there are other dates waiting for you, you couldn’t care less what’s going to happen here. That is why I always say to approach as much as you can and pick up numbers because even if you don’t call those girls or they flake you, you will still have that relaxed mindset.

Act like you really don’t care if you are going to get laid or not. She is nothing special, you are. That should be your first rule, not only on a first date but in general: “Who gives a fuck what she thinks?”


9. Lead the Interaction

It’s okay if you start your conversation with usual questions. “What do you do?” “What did you study?” “How did you and a mutual friend meet?” Start boring and work your way into more interesting topics.

For example, you can start talking about travel, then adventures, and adventures usually lead to sex. There is no topic you can’t switch to sex. Just listen carefully to what she has to say, be in the moment.

Every word in her sentence is a possible new subject to talk about. Once you pay attention to her, it becomes easy. I wrote about this in details here.

Don’t try too hard to talk about sex. It should look like a natural thing to talk about. Avoid subjects like depression, sickness, or weather. Start talking about stuff that will trigger her emotions in one way or another.

It’s a lot more about how you speak than what you speak about, so try to develop your million-dollar mouthpiece technique. Even if you talk about boring stuff you should definitely talk about it with passion and sound very cool. People who can talk about boring subjects and making them interesting are the ones that can lead interactions and keep attention.

10.  Escalation
couple kissing

The best time to go for a kiss is when you feel you should go for it. I suggest you start touching her early, make her used to your touch. You can touch her shoulders a few times, touch her above the elbows or try to fix her hair. When it’s time to escalate try to hold her hand for a few seconds before a kiss. If she pulls out that is a sign that you should not go for a kiss.

Don’t wait for too much and If you get rejected, try it a few times more. Don’t give up too early. If you don’t hesitate and try to kiss her early, that can only be attractive. She will think it’s confident and that it worked for you in the past to kiss a girl that early, which is always good. The trick is to not let it affect your emotional state. Laugh it off, don’t look butt hurt, keep your frame.

11. Move

If you succeeded at getting her to come to your place for the date, that’s great, but if you are at a bar you will have to find a way to go back to your place.

Don’t wait too long. When you finish three drinks say something like, time to go home and just act like she is going with you. Don’t ask for permission. Just act like she already agreed to come with you. If she starts saying something like she is going to her home, just say “I think you should come home with me” – hold eye contact, then begin to smile, then kiss. Now, after a kiss find an excuse. Not for you, but for her.

You see, women are afraid of being labeled as sluts, by society or by themselves. If you ask her home for sex her anti-slut shield is going to come up, but if you ask her to come to your place to continue to drink or to show her the view, then you’re giving her a perfect excuse.

12. Show Her your Dominant Side

When you two end up alone, it’s time for action. Being too passive is one of the top unattractive traits a man can have.

Start kissing her while you both are standing,  and grope slowly but stronger than in the bar. If you can, pick her up. Show her your strength, that’s one thing women get wet on. Showing her that you are “stronger than her” is attractive from the evolution point of view. It means you can kill or protect her, and that you are a man.

Take her or throw her on the bed (For a film example see “Last Tango in Paris,” it’s in the first sex scene – as a masculine man you should watch this movie) and start taking her clothes off, slowly but strongly, there is no need to be gentle now.

Maintain eye contact while you are taking her clothes off. Everything you do should be with passion. Whatever you want to do in this moment, just do it.

If you get last minute resistance, what you should do is continue trying. If she is rejecting you still, try taking your whole clothes off, pull your dick out early so she can be comfortable with it. Put her hand on it so she can feel the way you react to her.

You can even surprise her when she comes back from a bathroom. You can welcome her back full naked. I tried this a few times. It worked every fucking time.

If nothing of this works, this probably means that she wants you for LTR and doesn’t want to look like a slut. But this doesn’t mean she never slept with a guy on a first date. It means she doesn’t want to do it with YOU. So the best thing to do is to put her on ignore mode but don’t look sad or mad. Start doing something fun that doesn’t include her. Make her feel lonely. At this moment either she will go home or understand the message and open herself up.


The most important thing on a first date is your mindset. If you have another date that day with a different girl, you couldn’t care less about the girl you are sitting now. And because of the abundance mentality, you will have higher chances of scoring that night.

Also pay attention to the outer game, your clothes, and body language. I didn’t mention it but eye contact is very important. I saw a lot of guys not paying enough attention to eye contact. Like they are scared to remain eye contact because it can be weird or awkward. It’s never weird to remain eye contact. You can do it for the much longer period before it gets weird then you think so.

And don’t kiss her too much in a bar, save it for when you two get alone. Kissing is a form of validation, so is sex. So you can choose how you want to validate her.

At the end of the day, most of this stuff is number game. Some of the girl you will bang on a first date, some of them you won’t but with this tips, you increase your chances.



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