“We are never going to be ready for going out alone, that moment never comes. And for five years if we start going out alone, that first time is going to be hard. Whether it’s going to be hard now or for five years, it’s the same!”
Back then when I told my wingman this, I knew I was close and that I won’t wait for too long before I start to go out alone. So, one Friday my wing says he can’t go out, that’s few times in a row he’s saying that to me, and I started to feel angry. Not on him, of course, but on the situation that I’m in. I called few more people, and they are all busy. “What a bunch of betas,” I thought. I’m putting down my cell phone realizing how miserable I really am. My progress is literally depending on others. How bad is that?
I was an idol for that one friend when it comes to women, and now I’m acting like a little bitch. I slammed my fist on the table, got showered, got dressed and run out. Since then, whenever I didn’t have someone to go out with, I went to the clubs for 30 minutes, do my thing and then went back to bed. Priceless.
Since I have been going out alone a lot this year, I decided to write here few tips for you guys. Let’s do it.
Why going out alone?
Going out by yourself is the fastest and the best way to grow our social skills. Period.
Doing game without the wing after some time makes you very comfortable when you are with a girl, and that is necessary for your confidence.
You will learn a lot about yourself by going out alone, especially your fears and weaknesses.
Everyone who is good at the game had to go through solo nights, simply because it’s hard to find people that are committed to becoming better with girls. After some time I realized that going out alone is not an option but a need. Social freedom and confidence in having a good conversation with total strangers will get you laid. And those skills are improving by going out solo.
Of course, you have your friends, and you can go out with them when you want. But now you have a choice whenever some of them aren’t in “game mode.” When no one wants out, you can go by yourself to meet cute girls, instead of staying home eating your mommy’s cookies and poisoning your brain with porn.
This opens a whole new world of possibilities for you. That’s the beauty of going out alone. No one limits you. You can change location whenever you want, stay with a chick how much you need to close and basically do whatever you want. The point being is that you should go out and get through the first few hard nights. After that, it will be easy. You would be able to go into an adventure whenever you want. This jump in your game is worth, and the prize is big.
Even when you want to travel around the world. There is no better thing than traveling around by yourself and getting laid along the way. A lot of people ask their friends to go with them to some country, and when friends reject them, they simply give up. They will never know what they have been missing.
SOLO VS TEAM
Let’s be honest, most of us will after some time of regularly going out with your crew say something like this:
My friends are betas, and they are only slowing me and cockblocking me with their behavior.
And that is true. Deep down you know that your friends are cool for fun, but when it comes to seducing girls, 90% of them suck.
The crucial thing in the game is the ability to walk in a club/bar alone and walk out with a girl, which is what we all want. Being dependent on a wing is a double-edged sword, it is similar to feeling cool just because you’re dressing good or when you are familiar with the venue. But that isn’t how you progress fast.
Want to build core confidence and progress fast? Go out all by yourself, have a “bad” night several times in a row if you need, but don’t give up, go out again and again. It’s hard first few times, but there is no other way. Once you get used to going out alone, nights with your friends becomes ten times easier. A piece of cake. It will be just like lying home in bed and listening to music.
The fewer people you go out with, the fewer worries you have. You don’t have to worry if some of your friends will come to the girls, say something stupid that will drive them away and you don’t have to babysit them and watch for their feelings.
Actually, you don’t need anyone. Once you get success in solo nights, you will crash all the limits you thought you have.
Starts going out in big clubs, where you won’t stand too much, avoid small bars at first. Most people would never do that, you already have my respect if you go out alone, no matter what level you are. You have the courage to do what most of the guys never will.
You should feel already successful if you come to the club. Change your attitude from “Me vs. the night” to “Me & the night” and accept full responsibility for everything that’s going on. Be focused on the things around you.
Our brain is wired in a way that is stopping us from going to unknown places without the support. But we are no longer living in caves like 3000 years ago, we live in modern society, and no alpha is going to come and kill us. We should teach our brain to be freer, and take action. Start thinking that everyone in the club is your friend. Be social.
SOCIAL BEAST MODE
Going out solo is not an easy task, especially if you didn’t build momentum that day. Your goal is to talk to as many people as possible before you enter the club. Warming up before the night is the answer on how to build positive experience in a short period of time.
Being able to enter “the state” early on will make a difference between having one of the best nights in your life or just sitting at the bar waiting for girls to come over. And that’s exactly the subject of my new book “Social Beast Mode”.
You will learn to have more trust in yourself and understand that you are your own leader, without depending on someone else. That feeling “I am enough” is just priceless.
With Social Beast Mode you will learn:
- To be social with everyone
- Getting into large groups easy.
- Take action without a second thought.
- Treat everyone around you as friends.
- Trust yourself.
- Stay with girls longer than you expected.
- How to do top pick up techniques at Nightclubs
- Become relaxed in clubs/bars.
By going out alone and implementing everything from my book you will quickly become confident, and your game will become better.
When you look back after one month of going out alone, all those questions and problem you have had with women and confidence will disappear, and look funny to you.
You will be surprised what you are capable of doing when you put yourself on that kind of pressure.
“WHY ARE YOU ALONE” QUESTION
Some guys are afraid of this question, and that’s stupid!
When you are out and talking with someone, no one is going to think you are alone. You don’t need to explain to others why you are alone. Say what you want, it doesn’t matter. For example:
-My friends are gone, they are tired. It’s so good in here.
-I’m alone like Pinocchio.
-I’m alone in this world.
-No, I’m with you, crazy.
-My friends are late.
-I’m with them (and you show some random guys)
-I’m an arsehole, I don’t have friends.
But most of the time people will think that you are with the girl you talk. Even better.
This is your ticket to the bigger league. I know you want to play in the first division.
If you pay the prize by getting the courage to go out alone, the universe will recognize and reward that. There is no fail, only results that you can learn from.
Everyone that is really good at this had some period of time when he went out alone. Become one of them, don’t depend on others.
I even wrote a book on that subject that should help you with your social skills that are crucial for going out alone. Get it here.
So, what do you want to do? Have a great night or sit home? Your choice.
Good times are waiting for you. At least for now.
Thanks man very well written this was the best post in this subject
Thanks for writing this man, words of wisdom right there
I had a bad experience with going out alone and some doorman almost broke my arm. I did nothing other then look at a guy that was bothered me. He was a small guy that i through i cut take if need be. After the doorman jumped me for no reason i cut not move my arm and that little shit came back and hit me. Do you have any advise to avoid things like that?
You can’t do anything against doorman if you are not experienced fighter. So my advice is to avoid things like that. Unfortunately, this thing that happened to you is just bad luck. It could happen to anyone. Is there anything you can learn from this? If it was me I would find a manager to that bar and contact him explaining the situation.
I went out for the first time a week after my ex leaving. We live on a village with two social outlets. I have a choice stay home or go to the club knowing he will be there and people will talk because I’m not sat with him and what was our friends. To nite I did it and it wasn’t that bad a few people said hi I had two drinks and left. Tomorrow is a birthday party I love to dance and I am going alone and it is OK 🙂
I don’t know you but reading this makes me happy 🙂 Congratulations on displayed courage.
Thank you very much ! I realised I have to do this on my own but I felt like such a looser. My night game is practically non existent as it is, I stopped drinking and that makes it even harder. I’ll use this article as a mental support and a guide in the future, because I’ll have to keep going out alone, good guys don’t go out with newbees and my friends are either too cheap or chody. Do you drink when going out alone, last time I had to drink 2 beers just to prevent running out of the club XD ? I was also under the impression that game happens on the dance floor, then later I saw RSD video that talks about that …
I just started doing all this three weeks ago, but unfortunately I am still going home without a girl.
I’ve been going out alone for years. I hate it. It is true that you are not self-conscious or nervous from it, and it is liberating in terms of not having to carry others around with you; but it still sucks and is hard for pulling ass. Yes, you’ll be fine as far as confidence and presence go, but it is cold comfort either way.I have been considering giving up altogether.
I’m a 42 year old male. When you get older , your friends move away, or they’ve moved on to marriage or relationships. When I was in my 30’s, I had friends to go out with and it was fun. As far as going out alone these days as an average man (average job, living situation), it’s extremely hard and it does suck. Now if I was making serious money and going out alone, I’m pretty sure you could easily find women and also find groups of people to associate with. If your just an average Joe, it does have it’s fallback. I think a big part of it, is that people are just extremely rude and weird to be around these days. Especially if your going out alone, women look at you different and will probably judge you . A lot of times people in general don’t know your situation and will just assume your weird for sitting alone or our just out to get laid. In reality, yes getting laid would be nice but at the same time, when you get older you just want company and to be able to have somewhat of a social life. Times have changed, people are more about their own click or group. I will not go to a club , especially if it’s an all rap or hip hop club. I’ve been to those clubs before, and I came away thinking “everyone acts like a badass, everyone is close minded, every is fake, and if your not hard core tattoos and gangster, then you have no shot. All in all, I just got bad vibes from the whole hip hop scene. It seemed liked you walked into a room and people everywhere are just angry at life. The same feelings I get when I go to an upscale scene or area, you just feel like your surrounded by people who are entitled and fake. If you have to be someone your not at a bar or club, than your at the wrong place. It’s hard at there for guys who are on a fixed income, most of the time you will sit alone by yourself drinking. I have better results going to local bars and country bars, because at least the people there are more down to earth,and don’t need to put on a show because if their insecurities. Also county girls are these best, if you can hold a conversation and dance, you have a shot. Just my thoughts though and what I’ve experienced.