Women are open to having sex with strangers more than ever before in history.
With technology, dating is more accessible. You can schedule a date with a woman you’ve never meet in a few minutes by installing a dating app and logging in.
So my question is, should we, in today’s society, even have a guide on how to get laid?
It’s a fact that sex is all around us, it can almost be smelled simply by walking the streets.
However, most guys don’t get laid at all. Most guys are having trouble even approaching a girl, not alone getting her to bed.
Ironically, by some studies, millennials are having less sex than their parents.
Not getting laid brings frustration for young men. Perhaps you have a tough time approaching women or maybe you don’t know what to say?
But definitely, the most frustrating thing is picking up a hot girl, going out on a date with her, maybe even getting her home together and making out… all of that only to be stopped at the last step! And the reason doesn’t matter, maybe she just blocks your hand every time you want to touch her in a sexual way or she simply tells you “no”.
If you find yourself in this situation too often, you are in the right place.
Good news for you is that getting laid is indeed easy, but it’s hard to get to the point where you fully realize this. Your brain is probably full of limited beliefs.
Today, I want to tell you about getting the hot girls from cold approach. This guide will cover a lot, including frame control, sexual tension, inner game, and passing shit tests.
My Background
I was tall and skinny in school, I didn’t have a girlfriend until 17. I was dumped by her and then spent the next two years reading pick-up material.
After that, I felt sick of the PUA community and finally started approaching girls in clubs, I dealt with approach anxiety and rejection for months, but I was persistent.
After one year of doing that I started to sleep with every other girl once a week, all 7s and 8s.
This is going to be a long guide, so I recommend you bookmark it so you can return later and read it.
The battle for approach starts earlier.
Momentum is built from the morning. For example, if you are in an elevator with a girl and you want to ask her something but a voice in your brain says, “Never mind, she is kinda ugly anyway, tonight you are going to approach a lot of women at the club,” and the voice overwhelms you, there is a problem.The more you talk to women and strangers in general, the more social freedom you will get. When you feel socially free, you will have an easy time approaching women and being relaxed while doing it.
Being social from the moment you open your eyes in the morning is crucial for being in the social mood when it’s time for action.
The whole purpose of approach is just to do it.
No one likes to approach women. People are usually too scared or lazy to start a conversation with a random girl, and I get it.
It’s true that if you don’t approach you won’t get rejected. But you also won’t get laid.
Rejections are healthy.
Try to get rejected as soon as you can. Verbal rejection will destroy your ego. This is exactly why verbal rejection makes you free.
After a real rejection, your subconscious brain recognizes that you are still alive and well. All of a sudden, another rejection doesn’t seem too bad. Few thousands of years ago you could get beaten to death if you approached the wrong woman.
After a few rejections, you’ll feel free to approach any woman you want.
Rejections are useful.
Preselection works.
If you approach a woman and you are talking to her, maybe she is not interested but she just plays nice and lets you stay there. This is a perfect opportunity to jump to the next girl.Why?
Because one of the things that attract women the most is preselection. If a girl sees you with another girl, she will immediately become more attracted to you.
Use girls that are not interested in you, don’t just leave the set, use it to your advantage.
It doesn’t matter what you say.
As I said, the whole purpose of approach is to do it. It doesn’t matter what you say, as long as you hold eye contact.
“Act like you have answers.”
What is a strong frame? Basically, it is a sense of certainty of everything you do. If you have certainty in everything you do, you keep calm in the face of social pressure.
With this certainty, you are able to manifest your own reality to people around you, including women.. Your own value system and beliefs simply outride hers.
In order to do this, you need to stay relaxed. In cold approach, if you are more relaxed in conversation than a girl, most likely she will get attracted to you.
Women are attracted to men that are better than them. In other words, men that have a stronger frame than they do.
Your reality (that you are the boss) needs to beat her reality. Frame is directly related to your own personal value, testosterone levels, and belief system.
So, if you truly believe that you are better than her and have more value, then she will (after some time) accept it as the reality. Women naturally have a weaker frame than we do.
Women can’t help but be attracted to a guy with a strong frame. From an evolution point, she is naturally “wired” to be attracted to a guy that is psychologically strong and has strong positive beliefs about himself (natural leader).
Psychological strength is more important.
Women are naturally submissive. Logically, they can only submit to a guy that is strong physically and psychologically. What do you think is more important?
Most guys already are physically stronger than most women, but, in today’s world, most guys are psychologically weaker than women they try to date.
The first impression is important.
There is a certain percentage of women that care about how you look, and if you are ugly and short, you will have to deal with more shit tests overall.
If you are good looking you will have to deal with less bullshit. When I say good looking, I don’t only mean pretty but also ripped, women do love strong men.
And this is why you will see “lift weight” everywhere around the manosphere.
However, if you look good but have a weak frame, you won’t get laid. On the other hand, if you are short or ugly you will have to take a lot of shit tests and criticism but once you pass them the door will open for you.
It’s not what you say but how you say it.
The key is to be relaxed. In order to be able to do that, you need a lot of experience.
If you are relaxed, women around you will also feel that and be relaxed.
But, you can’t fake it. If you are nervous she will see that. Accept it and continue.
This is why subtext is so important. You can say the same sentence in a different way and get completely opposite reaction from women you want to meet.
And the best way to learn how to say things in a good way is to approach a lot of women, become relaxed doing it and it will come naturally.
If you get to the level where you are completely relaxed in her company, keeping the conversation going won’t be a problem anymore.
Women don’t want you to be perfect, they want you to be a man
If you approach a lot of women as you should, you will make mistakes, and that is fine. What is important is how you react to your mistakes. Being too reactive to anything she does or says is an attraction killer.
Fortunately for you, you already are naturally psychologically stronger than her, but you need to find that strength
She will test your masculinity by testing how much you care about what she thinks.
Girls love masculine men. In order to find out how masculine you are, she has to test you. We call this shit tests.
First, she will test how much you care about what she thinks, her opinions. Are you immune to criticism? Can she break your frame? Will her reality overwhelm you, or will you manage to impose your way of thinking on her?
This is instinctual. Women want a man that is strong psychologically and calm, a man whose value system and beliefs can’t be broken, so they shit test you for that reason.
It’s simple. If you react too much to what she says, you are getting into her frame. If you, however, stay calm and continue to do what you want regardless of what she says, then you are showing her that your frame is strong enough for her
Pass shit test as pretending they never happened.
When women criticize me, or pretend to ignore me, or simply say things that are totally brutal – that I am short, skinny, or ugly, I simply don’t hear that, because I don’t care about what she thinks.
Most of the women I had sex with tested me in one way or another. They usually pretend to ignore me for first 10-20 seconds or make a weird face, others gave me big last-minute resistance in bed. Those are all tests to see how I will react.
Whenever I came up with the right mindset, and that is to ignore the test like it never happen and continue to do things I wanted anyway, they became more attracted to me.
I just act like she’s being nice to me. And eventually, they really start treating me nicely.vv
Approaching hot women gives you motivation.
At first, if you feel approaching anxiety when approaching hot women, it’s okay to approach only 6s or 7s, but as time goes by, you should move up.Most guys don’t approach hot women because subconsciously they think that they don’t deserve them. If you have this mindset, change it as fast as possible.
You deserve the hottest women in your city. Tattoo this into your brain. Repeat this sentence 100 times every morning if you need to, just realize that you do deserve the hottest women wherever you go.
Getting a number from a hot woman gets your ego pumped up. All of a sudden it’s easy to approach women during a day, especially if she is 7 or an 8, and get her number also.
Pro tip: When it comes to cold approach, hot girls react better since they are not so much insecure about their looks.
Hot girls are the same, they just have a stronger frame.
Hot women are attracted to the same stuff ugly women are attracted to… strong men, physically and psychologically. The only difference in seducing hot and ugly women is that hot women have a stronger frame that they are the prize.
That is why teasing and negging works well on these women, and when you neg 5s and 6s they get offended very fast.
Ultimately, showing a hot woman that you don’t care what she thinks is even more attractive to her because men that have a strong frame around her are very rare. And not to mention how good negging works on hot women.
The more she tests you, the more she wants to sleep with you.
Hot girls will test you like crazy, they will say nasty things about you, they will pretend to ignore you, they will tell you to go away. A hot girl will act like a bitch just to see how you deal with pressure, or if you care what she thinks of you.
Keep calm and non-reactive to whatever she throws at you.
Remember, she actually wants to sleep with you. She wants you to pass all her shit tests and fuck her anyway, but she needs to see how strong you are. Most guys don’t even notice that they are being tested, so they fail.
“Too old, go home.”
Do you remember that scene in a movie Fight Club where Tyler insults the new recruits that are waiting up outside the door? Tyler throws personal insults at them. “Too ugly,” “too short,” “too fat, go home,” etc. He keeps them outside the door for days. He keeps telling them that there is no chance they are getting in.
Most give up, but those that stay are let inside.
It’s the same with hot women. Usually, it’s a war of frames. If you manage to impose your own self-image on her, you’ve won, and all you have to do is ignore her tests and actually don’t care what she says or do. Just be there, and slowly build your attraction, eventually, she will invite you in.
“Every battle is lost or won before the battle even begins.”
So, I said if you pass shit tests you will get laid, true, but how do you pass shit tests? The first step is to realize that every test is testing your self-image and frame. The more you have your mindset right, the stronger your frame will be.
She will test your view of the world. For example, if your view of the world is that all women are nymphomaniacs that love sex more than men (as it should be), and you meet a girl whose frame situation is that she is “not that kind of girl” and you believe that even for a second, you’ve lost your frame and she has won.
If you, however, stay persistent and treat her like a sexual maniac, you will outframe her and she will act according to your expectations.
Things that destroy frame:
- Getting mad at the girl.
If you get mad at the girl, you are reacting to what she says or do. In other words, you are in her frame, you are caring about what she thinks and showing weakness.
- Compromise
Any compromise you do with a girl will cause you to lose frame. If you “agree” on something that you refused to do before, you are losing your masculinity. Period.
- Apologizing
Have you ever seen Trump apologizing? I don’t care what your opinion about him is, if you want to know what a strong frame looks like, watch politicians, especially Trump.
Never apologize to a woman you want to have sex with.
“I don’t need game” frame is the one that will give you 9s and 10s.
If you want to learn how to get laid, first you need to get your mindset straight.
The foundation of your inner game should be that you don’t need any techniques in order to attract hot women.
Simply by being a man and approaching her, you show her that you are a man, she will be attracted to you just because you look more relaxed than she is. If you can have this mindset and approach her, half of the job is done.
In order to get to the point where you are completely relaxed when approaching women, you need to approach a shit ton of women, that’s just how it works.
Women need you more then you need them, because you are a man with balls, women love men with balls.
Getting your mindset and frame right takes time and practice. Every success you will have in life is not achieved overnight. Getting good with girls is rather a marathon than a sprint.
Men and women are naturally attracted.
Women are attracted to men, and vice versa, that is just biology and you can’t fight it.
If you lay in bed with a girl that is ugly and chubby, when you feel her naked body and soft skin, her smell, you will probably get a hard-on. If you are sure that no one will find out and she will leave after, you would bang her. Like I said, simple biology.
It’s the same with women. If you are short and ugly but you end up alone with a girl, there is going to be some chemistry and she is going to feel it. If you get near her and start touching her hands and hips, even in a non-sexual way, she is going to get attracted and even wet.
So, yes, if you make the righ situation, you can even fuck models. This is coming from a guy that slept with a lot of girls that are “out of his league”.
Human beings don’t have amazing self-discipline.
Sex feels good. So, even if she is a 10 and you are a 4 she will enjoy having sex with you. If the circumstances are right, that’s exactly what will happen.
Humans are weak. Most of us don’t keep our word let alone have standards. We pretend to have standards, we pretend that we will stick to that perfect diet, but we rarely do.
It’s the same with getting laid. If you show her that you have a strong frame, if you are persistent enough to get in a perfect situation that will create plausible deniability, then she will fuck you.
You don’t need to be an alpha in every situation to get hot girls.
If you start with an “I’m a badass alpha who is dominant in every situation and better than everyone” mindset, you will create stress and face evidence that will challenge your frame.
On the other hand, if your frame is “I am enough for myself, I am a man with courage and because of that women are attracted to me on a biological level”, then you have a healthy sustainable frame that is ideal for beginners. It doesn’t stretch the truth, it doesn’t cause cognitive dissonance.
And therefore, it’s MUCH MORE RESILIENT in the face of tests and resistance — which is the most CRITICAL element to getting the hottest girls.
Create your own reality.
You must truly believe that you are enough. You were fed with a shit load of BS from a young age. If you have a problem getting laid, you probably have a bad self-image, you believe that for some reason women don’t find you attractive, otherwise, you would be surrounded by hot chicks.
If you want to learn how to get laid, you have to change your beliefs, you have to believe that you are enough, that you actually don’t need “game” to seduce women, you just need a strong frame. Being a man that has the courage to approach and pass her shit test is enough to get you into her pants easily. You need to feel this belief system in your bones.
Now, you may even know that this is true. But after years of BS that you internalized over the years, changing your belief system is a bit tricky.
How can you change your belief system?
Repetition. The idea that you are enough will feel true as much as you think about it. Find every reason you hear or see that will support that belief while using deliberate blindness to anything that contradicts it. Use affirmations if you want.
Every time you stand in front of the mirror, say that you are a man, say you are just enough to get any women you want.
This is how you change your beliefs so they benefit you.
P.S: This is the No. 1 lesson I learned in high school.
Be a man of action.
Invest in yourself. Find what actions you can do today in order to be more successful with women. Go out more, be more social etc. Get into online game, it’s the future whether you like it or not.
I wrote an article about 5 actionable tips on how to get more girls.
Sexual tension is your friend.
A woman will never sleep with a guy that can’t stand higher sexual tension than she can.When you feel sexual tension, try to prolong it and increase it. Eye contact, poker face, and simply flirting creates sexual tension.
But don’t focus on creating sexual tension because it’s already there from the moment you approach.
Instead, try to not do things that kill sexual tension such as: talking a lot, agreeing too much, laughing too much, or having a nervous body language.
Put the pressure on her.
When you feel the tension, remember she feels it also, just 10 times stronger. If you feel an urge to “break” the silence, don’t. In fact, look at her eyes like you expect her to say something. Before you know it, she will start qualifying herself to you.
Being weird is okay.
Most men have a really strong fear of being labeled as weird, so they avoid sexual tension at all costs. For example, they are afraid to touch a girl or maintain long eye contact so as not to be seen as weird.
But long eye contact is crucial. Touching her before you try to kiss her is normal.
If you want to get laid from cold approach, you have to risk looking weird. Embrace it and understand that it’s okay to be weird from time to time.
What does it mean to be weird anyway? For me, not getting laid is weirder than anything else.
You want her to test you on a first date.
Women will start testing you from the first second you approach them. And tests are going to be hardcore on a first date. If you pass her tests, you’ve shown her that you are psychologically stronger than her, this creates attraction.
A woman can’t get attracted to a man unless he overcomes some resistance to get her.
If she doesn’t test you, that is a sign that she is not into you or she is not interested in dating anyone at that moment.
This is why you want to be tested. The more she throws tests at you the better. And likely you are to get laid on a first date.
Ultimate attraction is created when you pass all her tests.
You can’t create attraction with a funny pick-up line, or manipulation NLP techniques. Pure attraction is not generated even by having a lot of money.
All these things will increase your probabilities of getting laid and make your game easier, but that is not what builds attraction.
There are 3 things that build attraction and the number one is passing a woman’s tests.
Number two is preselection. If a woman sees you with other girls, your value goes up.
And the last one is looks. Yes, looks matter. Pick-up artists have an agenda in telling you that looks don’t matter.
That’s because if they tell you that, short, skinny and ugly guys might give up and never pay their boot camps.
Looks matter, but passing shit tests and preselection is much, much more important when it comes to building attraction.
It all comes to biology and genetics.
Women are built for tribes of roughly 100 people. Their genetics is not for the modern world. If you understand that, you will do things differently. For example, you won’t take tests personally.
Shit tests are necessary.
Women are bitchy to you because she thinks you might be her man for the night, but she has to test you first. They can only sleep with you after they have proven that you are psychologically stronger than them. It’s instinctual and biological, it’s a part of the natural order.
In the past, from an evolutionary point of view, women would get impregnated by the guy that is dominant and demanding. Alphas are not always physically stronger than others but psychologically they are almost always superior. They are also the ones that get all the women in the tribe, this is why preselection and dread game works so well.
When you get bitter at hot women for testing you, you’re being just as anti-nature as feminists themselves.
Bitch shield is not a rejection.
When a woman is bitchy to you, she is not rejecting you. In fact, she is very interested in your reaction. If you stay immune to her behavior, she will start behaving better.
In the PUA community, people say that pursuing bitchy women is not good. For me, I just love to see those bitchy women crawling to my feet. I love bitchy women, in fact, I love breaking them down, it’s fun.
Maybe bitchy girls are not your type, and that is okay, but remember, if she is acting bad that is because she is interested in you and she wants to see what kind of man are you.
Aggressive tests.
There are two kinds of shit-tests, aggressive and passive.
An aggressive test is one where a girl tries to insult you or tell you that she has a boyfriend, mocks you or simply says anything provocative in order to get a reaction.
The best way to deal with an aggressive test is to ignore it and keep doing what you have been doing before it. Being indifferent towards women drives them crazy. You can also smile and amplify. But for me, the best way to pass aggressive tests is to smile like you want to say, “I know what you are doing, but I don’t give a fuck about your opinion” and just act like it never happened.
An aggressive test is an ideal opportunity to be a charming asshole in response.
How to pass her passive tests.
Another type of test is actually more common. Acting indifferent, giving you a one-word answer or simply making a weird face is a passive test.
How do you pass a passive test? Simply be persistent. Act like you know she is attracted to you. You can even go further and try to gently hold her hand.
The real reason behind passive tests.
The real reason behind passive tests is that girls really don’t know how to act around you. It’s all one big misunderstanding.
When you approach a girl on the street or out of the blue you are showing a lot of value. 95% of guys don’t do that, so you immediately get into the top 5% when it comes to confidence.
So, have you or your friend ever started acting kinda rude or disinterested to the really hot girl as soon as you meet her just because you thought that will make her attracted to you? I know, I have a bunch of friends like that.
It’s the same with women. They don’t know how to act, they are afraid that they will look weird or stupid, so they build a shield around them, they act bitchy or disinterested, they answer with one word because they don’t know what to say. She tries to act “cool,” “aloof,” and “standoffish” … because she feels awkward
They make weird faces to their friends because they are scared of their status since you ARE A HIGH-VALUE man. Remember, 95% of guys don’t approach women like that, they mostly do it when they get drunk, not to mention the street game.
Girls are nervous around men with courage, and you need patience with them.
Don’t get all offended. Hold frame, keep smiling, be relaxed, you can tease them if you want.
Eventually, they will start laughing, flirting back, and open up. No other man has ever done that to them, so they will know that you are special. Even though you did nothing special, all you did was realize that you are enough.
Conclusion
Getting laid is easy, but it’s hard to get to the point where you realize it.
Women are attracted to status, preselection, money, and good looks, but they are attracted the most to men that are psychologically stronger than them. You prove this strength by showing self-confidence with approach, strong frame with passing her shit tests and by the ability to stand with a lot of sexual tension.
Yes, being a rock star or having a lot of money will get you laid, but ultimately the cold approach is the best option, simply because by doing it you are working on other areas in your life. You become immune to rejections and other people’s opinion, and that will definitely help you through life.
Being good with the cold approach and learning how to get laid with it is a journey that will make you are a more confident, capable and better person overall.