I have been in relationships with unfaithful partners, and many guys and ladies have. Many people all over the world have since cheating is as old as humankind. What I continue to notice, over and over again, is that the script never changes. Different countries, states, ages of men and women, but the script is frightfully similar to all cases of cheating I’ve heard or participated in.
I have seen a lot of cheating during my life, I’ve seen more unfaithful women than faithful ones, especially over the summer vacation. I have seen it from just every perspective, as an active participant, victim, or as an observer.
Now, this guide is not about putting all women into the unfaithful category, I think both men and women cheat a lot so I don’t put all women or every man in one basket. Of course you can find a faithful girlfriend that will love you.
But this is a guide for men(or women) that are in a relationship or will be in a long-term relationship and just wants to know how to spot a cheater…
So, let’s talk about cheating behavior, what should you watch out for? When you see the script with your own eyes, you will never miss it again, this can potentially be the most valuable article you will ever read on dating, so let’s dig into it.
People cheat for different reasons, but one thing is for sure, no one cheats when they are happy and have their needs met.
But hey Magister, didn’t you tell us that sluts always cheat?
Well yes, that’s because sluts can never be satisfied, they are broken so you will never meet their needs and make them happy, simply because they do not love themselves. You can’t help a person if she isn’t helping herself.
Only two types of women cheat:
-Women who live with men that are the cause of all their problems.
Now, don’t get all confused, there is no slut on this planet that will accept the fact that she is promiscuous. When she cheats, it’s always because of her boyfriend or husband, which of course is not true. Women have a hard time accepting responsibility for anything, they are so soft they can’t take criticism and this is why they have a tough time even seeing that they have a problem with being faithful.
When I say women who live with a bad partner, I’m not necessarily talking about losers without a dime, I’m talking about guys who turned beta so much that their women don’t feel attracted to him anymore, or simply a man that is beating her, cheating on her, and so on.
Being faithful in today’s world requires self-discipline, if she can’t be self-disciplined about simple things, like social media addiction, food, alcohol, or something similar, how can you expect her to be faithful?
Back to clues:
At first you start hearing “Always and Never.” We always, you always, or we never, you never, etc. All of them in a negative context. Of course, these claims are not true. This is just so she can frame you as a constant and static problem, and to shift blame away from herself.
You will notice she is detaching herself from you. She will start confusing you, answering your questions with “I don’t know,” but following up with “I love you” just to make things even more confusing. This is the part where not knowing where she is going or where she has been beginning.
Whatever you do is not good enough. You see, when a woman is loving you and into you, it doesn’t really matter what you say or do, you can almost do nothing wrong. On the other side, when things go bad and when she doesn’t feel a thing for you, you can’t do anything right.
Many guys fall for this and try harder to make things right, digging a hole for themselves. It’s never going to be good enough, never.
Here we talk about signs when cheating has begun.
First things first, she starts dressing better and going to the gym, going to the tanning salon, etc. All of this means nothing if it isn’t combined with her being protective of her phone.
It never leaves their side, it may get a password protector, it will be on silent or vibrate only. If she doesn’t want to share her password and leaves her phone face down, you should probably take it as a sign. Leaving the room to talk or text is another one.
If she created a new identity online, or a new identity with just her name, that is usually a red flag.
Pay attention if her taste in music changes out of nowhere, women adopt the hobbies of the men they are with. She might adopt new tastes, music, or hobbies. Not wearing the ring or bangles you gave her, is the obvious red sign.
Going to the store or doing shopping takes 4-5 hours.
You also may hear something like “I feel we are just friends,” “I need privacy,” “I love you but I am not in love with you.” All of this followed with, again, “I love you” because it can’t be one-sided, it has to be confusing so she can put the base for future blameshifting even though she started to do that already.
The worst thing is gaslighting. It is a manipulation with one goal – to make you question your sanity. One day she says she loves you, the next day she “needs some time to think about it” and the more questions you ask the more confused you get because she can’t give you a straight answer.
Gaslighting can go so far that she starts accusing you directly, for example, “You are crazy,” “You are so jealous it’s not normal, of course I need to go there,” etc. Anytime you feel suspicious, you become this crazy misogynist that hates her and doesn’t let her “breathe.”
The After – Sweet Denial
Secret affairs bring adrenaline and a lot of chemically addictive emotions, it’s a surge of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin in the brain.
Women and men are addictive to it, it brings fun and adrenaline. Addicts do not care about hurting their partners, kids or family, all they think about is how to cheat in a way no one finds out.
It’s all about that high, and you rarely see the truth come out of drug addicts, it’s the same with cheaters, they never tell the truth. They always give the last piece of information that they think will be enough just to get away with it.
Over time you may find out everything, but once you get damaged emotionally, it doesn’t matter, it’s over anyway. So, once you find out that you cannot trust your girlfriend, the relationship is over.
Women are masters in blame shifting, so expect it. “You weren’t there for me,” “I love you,” “I needed attention,” “You pushed me away,” etc.
The fact she was “in love” for all these months doesn’t matter, all those “I love you” texts don’t matter – she has been miserable for a long time now. She will find every little mistake you made and try to use it against you. They can even say something like “That time 5 years ago…” Yes, they go that far.
The level of her hamster will be amazing, but it is a state of mind, she is preparing to be single and needs to purge some of the memories. This is the main reason why no one wants to spend time with people going through a divorce.
Expect all of her friends to attack you by saying that you were a liar or even a guy that beats women. Society will be against you and will try to shut you down for talking against women and being “misogynist” for telling the truth, how dare you?
You should understand that you cannot control your woman or her emotions, you can’t make her like you or feel attracted to you, only she can do that. If she isn’t liking herself when she is with you, chances are she is going to cheat on you. Some women don’t like themselves no matter who their boyfriend or husband is. Those women are damaged beyond repair.
All of this is subconscious and pointing that out will make you look weird. No woman will agree with this, ever, but it’s the hard truth.
People cheat a lot, and you should assume it will happen to you. It probably has and will happen again. Who knows how many times you were part of cheating by simply sleeping with a woman not knowing she is in LTR?
The huge divorce rate in this country isn’t for nothing. A lot of that is because of cheating.
Good news is that it doesn’t happen overnight, there are signs you can spot early on that may help you avoid being cheated on. It’s not easy, it takes “practice.” So, watch out for these signs in your partner and if you spot a few of them, ask yourself if you are being cheated on.
And remember, if you are being cheated on, there is only one thing left for you – ghosting.