I really want you to remember the last time you got a rejection that hurt a lot. And how many strong rejections have you had in your life?
If you can’t remember any harsh rejections you got from women, you probably aren’t getting laid as much as you can.
But even though some studies have proven that when we get rejected, the same part of the brain activates as we feel physical pain, we tend to forget any harsh rejection we experienced in our life.
The point is that rejection can affect your emotional state or maybe even self-esteem in the short term. But they can also be very powerful fuel if you channel the anger you feel when you get rejected.
For me, rejection is a powerful tool that I can pull whenever I want. I want to get rejected; I want a girl pointing out my faults and shit test me. Rejections are perfect for reflecting on yourself and actually doing something about it.
For example, maybe girls are rejecting you because “you are not her type” and she is more into fitness guys which means that you should hit the gym, or maybe you hesitated and because of that, you approached her in an awkward way. Take that as a lesson to be more decisive when picking up girls. You can learn from most rejections.
On the other hand, you can pussy out. You can experience rejection, say “Oh, this sucks” and never approach again because you are afraid of that pain. Or you can buy some course from a guy that claims that he has a technique to get laid without ever getting rejected in your life. All of these options are easy escapes. Yes, you can approach a girl indirectly, but you will still get rejected from time to time.
Pain is good
When you are building muscles in the gym, you are intentionally putting yourself through physical pain. The more damage you do to your muscles when you are lifting, the stronger your muscles will become. And you can clearly see that the guy that is going through the biggest pain is actually the best-looking guy in the gym
It’s similar with picking up girls, but it’s harder to see that correlation. For example, you see the guy picking up a hot girl, but you don’t see him getting rejected 100 times before that.
At the end of the day, it’s simple math. A number game. If you approached ten women that night, and you only went home with one, technically you got rejected nine times. That’s a 10% success rate. But usually, it’s much lower.
So, the guy that approaches more women will get successful with them faster but will also get laid the most. And approaching a lot means getting rejected a lot, period.
Now, I go through more rejections every night than most men get through a year.
Most men fall in love with one girl and then think of a way to get near her, and then finally because he idealized her in his mind, he gets nervous with his approach and gets rejected.
Maybe he approaches a few girls a year, but that is only when the situation is “perfect” aka when he gets drunk.
These guys don’t get rejected a lot, but they also don’t get laid.
If you are not getting rejected a lot, that’s the main reason you don’t get laid.
And if you think you are not getting laid because you are not looking great, or you don’t have a job or you still live with your parents, you are dead wrong. Of course, all of these factors play a role, but the main reason you are not having the dating life you would like is that you are not taking enough action.
Not having a job, living with parents, lack of money or looks are perfect excuses if you want to rationalize your bad dating life. When guys have an excuse like that, it’s like hearing a fat person say, “I will start exercising, but I need a job promotion first.”
No man, no one stops you from going to the gym or doing exercises at home, no one.
Just as no one stops you from going out approaching women and getting a ton of rejections.
Stop reading, start doing
If you are a regular on this blog, you’ve probably read a bunch of content. My bet is that you don’t need more content to read; you need to apply what you already know. There is a big difference between doing something and reading about it, and this is true not only for pickups.
The truth is, that you don’t know anything about approaching women unless you are doing it regularly. You can read all the books and watch all the videos you want, but if you don’t approach, you don’t know shit.
This is hard to accept. Most guys already have their opinion on women even if they rarely interact with one. “Women in my city are all gold-digging whores.” Maybe, but how do you know that? You see them going out with rich guys; you’ve heard too many stories like that? Bro, if you didn’t at least try to pick them up, you don’t know anything about how easy the girls are in your town or country.
It’s possible that some foreigner can come to your city, approach 50 girls in a few days and know much more about women in your town where you grew up. And not only know more than you but actually get laid. All of this because you have a bunch of excuses.
I can’t tell you how many guys come to me to coach them and then when I ask them how many girls they’ve approached this year – they say zero. None. They were just reading online content.
So, if you want to learn to play guitar but only read about it for a year, would you be able to do it? Of course not.
The number one thing you need to do is to approach a lot of women. And I mean a lot of them. Ten a day probably. This is the only way to become better.
I’m not talking about this only because of my students but also from my own experience. I remembered when I first found out about the Game. It was like entering the matrix; nothing was the same anymore. When you realize that you can go out on a street, approach women, get ten numbers and get laid in a few days, new horizons open to you. You start seeing things differently.
But reading about all these theories was so good, I never wanted to stop. I read a lot of books about the game, comparing those lessons with my past experiences. I spent six months just reading or watching courses about picking up women online.
After that, I started to approach but I did only night game in the clubs. That’s six months wasted on reading stuff I don’t even remember. 90% of what I read didn’t work for me anyway and no, there are no special techniques you can execute to get a girl. It all comes down to approaching a lot (getting rejected), having a strong frame and being confident about it.
Getting rejected early is the best thing you can do to yourself.
Today, when I go out to approach girls, I am thirsty for rejections. I love getting rejected no matter how weird it sounds.
Because after that first rejection, your ego is crushed, and you just don’t care. You survived what your brain thought would be a life or death situation! And now your brain is telling you that you can approach any women you can and express your sexual intention towards her. From an evolutionary point of view, you are alpha. Because only alpha males could do that, go from woman to woman without repercussions.
All of this creates funny chemicals in your brain, and you feel like you snorted a line of cocaine. In the pick-up industry, when you got to this level, you are “in a state.”
Pro tip: If you really want to confront your fears, try public speaking.
Now, it all started with one simple rejection. It always does. Every success, every number you got that day, probably started with rejection. Because your game gets better when you get rejected since you don’t have that fear of rejection in your brain anymore. After you see that it’s not such a big deal, you become relentless.
In that case, if you are really into getting laid, rejections should be your fuel. It makes you feel something, even if it’s anger. It makes you feel alive. If you can channel that energy to be more productive, to be more proactive and approach, then, you should be happy when you get rejected. Yes, happy.
Rejections are healthy; they make you stronger and if your mindset is right, it can serve you as fuel to keep you on the road to your dating success.
On the other hand, guys that are afraid of rejections or looking bad in front of people are the ones that don’t get laid a lot and probably aren’t satisfied with their dating life.
It’s your choice after all. Get rejected a lot or have a miserable dating life