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Negotiate Your Salary Like a Boss

Woman attracted to indifferent man

After establishing yourself at your first job, you will start to think you can do better (make more money), or maybe you will want to change liberal environment since you just can’t stand those beta males and feminists.

The best time to start testing if you can get a good job is when you are already part of the corporate world if you are already employed. If you are not, you are going to be treated very badly and this guide may not help you. In that case, I suggest you get a job ASAP or simply start your own business.

Once you have outgrown your current position, the best thing you can do is to bail, otherwise, you are getting totally ripped off on salary. Take their laughable pay increase and suck it up or leave the company. It is that simple. If they give you something more than low merit pay increase, that usually means that you should have packed your bags a long time ago. Most people will take a shitty salary increase over unknown anything and corporate bosses know that.

Of course, there are companies that will appreciate your true value, but it is very unlikely that you will find one. Being useful just isn’t rewarded enough these days. Why? Probably because of the tyranny of quarterly reporting. Quarterly reporting rewards “Results: Now” and squeezing every bit of life out of employees.

Golden Rule

setting goals

Back on salary negotiations. There is one golden rule that is extremely important for you to follow:

NEVER, EVER, TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE MAKING NOW!

Read this a couple of times. In fact, read this a million times! If you are asked this in an interview, imagine me sitting next to you with a gun pointed at your daughter or wife, saying I will fucking shoot if you tell them what you make, and after that, I will shoot you and piss on your corpse leaving your DNA out of planet earth. And I would be right.

Of course, the motherfuckers are going to ask you that, and they will give you some bullshit reason why they need to know that. Fuck them.

Again: NEVER EVER TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE MAKING NOW!

You see, they already know what they are willing to pay. They have already decided on a budget for that position. Oh, and the people who don’t want to tell you their proposed range are the ones that actually demand you tell them what you are making now. Again, fuck them!

They might mention something like managing equity in the department. This means that losers who work for them are happy that they are being ripped off and because of that you too should be happy about not getting paid as much as your worth.

It’s not your problem if guys working with you will feel worthless if they know how much you make. Your goal is to maximize your salary, so you can feel worthy and happy.

Another excuse you might get is, “We need it to evaluate your candidacy.” Well, this is also bullshit. Again, they just want to know how cheaply they can get you.

How did I deal with this? I asked her how do they evaluate my candidacy, and if they could tell me what they have budgeted for the position I will evaluate my candidacy for them. End of story.

By the way, for evaluating candidacy, they just need your resume and background check. And of course, a face to face interview to make sure you are normal. That’s it. Knowing what you are making is not necessary for evaluating your candidacy.

The HR team is usually delusional. Their main goal is to bring talented men for as less money as they can. And they usually suck. They think your first employee got your value right. That is why they are asking that question so that they know how much you are “worth.” I could never understand why they would think your ex-company got it right.

 

“What if they asked me three times how much I am making, and they would not continue my candidacy if I don’t answer them?”

My answer would be that you should think about my gun pointed at your family. Never, ever answer that question. Period.

If a company requires this, it means their HR team sucks more than usual. Why do you think the rest of the team would be any better? Actually, any place that requires 1099 or W-2 is going to suck really hard.

 

And don’t even give them a range. Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are making 180$ (110$ salary and 70$ bonus). Now, the company that you applied to has a 150-160$ budget for that position. If you say you earn 180$ you have priced yourself out. And maybe you are willing to take that 20$ cut because you hate your boss at your current job. On the other hand, if you say you earn 110$ without bonuses then you are a loser who isn’t qualified for the job you want, otherwise you’d be making more.

 

Handle Salary Questions Like a Boss

Obviously, some of you guys will get scared and maybe you would not know how to avoid this question. Let me help you.

 

First of all, if there is a paper application just leave this question blank or put “-.”

If they ask you in the interview, answer something like this:
“I am sure that when you decide I am the right person for this job, we will arrive at a number we would both be happy with.”

And it should end with this. Likely, they will pressure you to say more. Tell them: “If this is important to you why don’t you give me the range of what you have budgeted for this position and I will tell you if I’m still interested.”

 

There are other options: “I am being interviewed for this job, so I don’t see any reason for talking about my current/last job because this job will be different, and it will bring more responsibilities.”

Understand that a job interview is not only about if you are qualified for the job, it’s also about how much they can squeeze out of you. Working for someone else usually means that you provide more value than they are paying you but because of it you don’t have a risk is everything falls apart.

And I hope I don’t need to mention you should not mention any of your political beliefs? That is the first rule of surviving in liberal workspace.

Conclusion

The whole thing is that you make them say their budgeted position for the job. You have the right to know and you should know. Now, because HR is full of retards and people that want to rip you off on salary, they will pressure you to say how much you are making. Don’t let them know this. You telling them this is like opening your cards in a poker game. It’s something you shouldn’t do.

In order to avoid this, it’s always best to put the ball in their court and let them tell you the proposed salary so you can decide. Just remember, never say what you are making now or how much you make in your previous job. Period.

 

 

 

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